Thirsty Ego Raps

[Hook: Open Mike Eagle]
It's the return of the curmudgeon
We're all thirty-first cousins
Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't
The thirst kills
Thirst murders universal will
I'll be having to tell myself chill

[Bridge: Open Mike Eagle]
That's just my ego talking
Thinks he's super hero awesome
Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything
That's just my ego talking
Thinks he's super hero awesome
Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything

[Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle]
My man Dave Gahan is in Depeche Mode
Used to have a crush on Michel'le from Death Row
This business is pop charts and who gets the top part
I still be wanting to mention Calista Flockhart
And Jonathan Lipnicki
Madonna there's room on the ottoman sit with me
Bring me coconut water to swallow with this whiskey
Let's talk about the nada this positive shit gets me
Hmm, this is my emotional ape face
I'm president of the rappers that don't condone date rape
I should eat rice cakes and drink water fools
And learn to do yoga and vibrate my molecules
It's harder than finding coal in a seafloor
Or feeding four people through the hole in a screen door
Shout out to first dude who pissed in the wind before
And went in the woods despite the myth of the Wendigo
I really wanna dress like Sun Ra
I'm Mumm-ra in a dumb bra stalking the jungles of Punjab
My nickname is Lord Bravery
On voice memos that I tape record lazily
Yeah, they be hatin' his brain
Cause they move with dumb words like ancient doorways can be
And thoughts that I'm great can pour limitless
I'm pretty sure I self-deprecate for your benefit

[Hook: Open Mike Eagle]
It's the return of the curmudgeon
We're all thirty-first cousins
Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't
The thirst kills
Thirst murders universal will
I'll be having to tell myself chill
It's the return of the curmudgeon
We're all thirty-first cousins
Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't
The thirst kills
Thirst murders universal will
I'll be having to tell myself chill

[Bridge: Open Mike Eagle]
That's just my ego talking
Thinks he's super hero awesome
Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything
That's just my ego talking
Thinks he's super hero awesome
Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything

[Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle]
Trying not to have missteps in my catalog
Like Scott Hall burning Goldberg with a cattle prod
Analog Eagle, Joe Walsh bandanna on
Tag along here Dear, next stop Babylon
We can yell "Eye of the tiger" if he sees gazelle
Popular rap tropes he chose via Speak N' Spell

[Outro: MC Paul Barman]
Check this out y'all, it's the paradox of being special:
Glowing so hard it's embarrassing in the workplace
Expected on the stage to the point that you don't even need the spotlight
You see the curtain rises on freaks, suits and ties on their seats
Expect performer back to normal by workin'-week start
We heart street smart, mnemonics for life
Canonical phrases, economically stated, raised to your conscience and gone quick