Thinly Veiled

Can you tell I'm just talking to make you laugh
And that I'm living from one sentence to the next?
Are you happy with how this is going?
Because I'm drowning in your mystery

Whoever owns the names you use
To speak to friends I can't earn or lose
Obviously knows a thing I know
About how to go about speaking to you

Inside jokes are nothing at all
Except little tricks from up within my sleeves
It's easier than giving you a call
Because I don't have to plan a message to leave

Confide in me your secrets so deep
That they burrow out from underneath
Their little legs are as sharp as knives
And they're practiced in the art of taking lives

I lie when I say
Policemen, they know more than me
And firefighters know less
I say arson isn't a felony
And there is no pain in my chest

Hopefully I can make it the truth
When I tell you this is the last song
I'll stop avoiding any mention of you
And I'll keep my metaphors true

Upon deciding to give up on all dreams
I see I've ruined 'em all on my own
If I ever sleep, I'll be dead
If only I could be truly alone

If there was another soul to give me hope
I'd be able to forget there was another way
I'd be a machine with barely a single use
So keep quiet if you don't know what to say

If you tell a soul how I've made up my mind
To be rid of good, evil, and in between
You'll have ruined my secret and damaged my find
Just keep making a scene

I've got no way to tell what I need to get out
Innocent, unhurt, and unmarried
No eyes, no ears, no mind, no fears
Make up my mind for me

Is it still a crime if there is no victim
Except for the perpetrator?
I say we all have the right to hurt ourselves
Even if the risk of dying is greater

She can't come back to me
Since she never was that close
I miss the smile that closed her eyes
And the subtle way she wore her clothes

Surprisingly, I thought there may be hope
Another surprise, I took a chance
Of asking the questions I never got out
And I'll rarely, if ever, use again

You pop your head in for a quick hello
But I'm busy, or at least pretending so
Can you tell there's a look in my eyes
That you can never know?

Blue and grey and red and white
Walking through town on a spring night
Caffeine bubbles in my veins
There's a desire to fall from this height

Her arms wrap around me when I fantasize
We live happy near blank homes
We don't have children, but in the future, we might
Get a dog and feed him our bones

Our skeletons will rest on Mount Olivet
And at night, our ghosts can walk free
To the school where we met
And stroll by the library

Before we expire, we can both retire
Move away from the monument
To Florida or Paris or Canada
Or wherever Judas was sent

I can see evidence of a possibility
That chances are, never was real
She's just a trick of fate
A spin on a tired wheel

How did I miss a glance so quick
That it barely existed at all?
Ever since then, I've been feeling sick
And I'm just so sick of it all