These Are the Thoughts (Demo)

[Verse 1]
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a Sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and I am not
Expending all that energy on fighting
With my boyfriend

[Verse 2]
Is he the one that I will marry
And why's it so hard to be good to myself?
And why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?
You know I'm not a pawn

[Verse 3]
Where does the money go that I send to charities?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?

[Verse 4]
How can you say you're close to God
And yet you talk behind my back as though I'm not a part of you?
Why do you say "I'm fine" when it's obvious you are not?
Why's it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why can't you just read my mind?

[Verse 5]
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less people will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it so hard to become passionate and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?

[Verse 6]
Will I ever move back to Canada?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?