[Intro: CreAsian & Marisa Buchheit,]
How are you doing today
I just couldn't sleep last night
I just kept thinking about my past and it kept me awake the entire night
Would you like to tell me more about it?
Yeah
[Verse]
You can say my main struggle is abandonment
Since my father fucking left me and he hasn't been
Around in the picture, I've been panicking
It's got me crying, and real fucking mad again
Cause I tried to meet him up, and he bailed on me
My self esteem broke, I put the fail on me
You don't know what it's like for your dad to leave you twice
Jesus Christ might as well put on a nail on me
I don't got friеnds willing to hear me break down
Thеy rather prefer that I fake smile, mind my business
So I loaded up the pen with ammunition
And took my shot for the cheddar like 8 Mile
Now they all flocking, a bunch of Judases
A couple months ago, they would've been like "who is this"
It's ludacris, people only care when you're successful
And they don't even care for your mental
Have you ever had DCFS on your doorstep
Lied to them, just to keep your family in tact
Same for the cops, plenty times that I did that
I wanted peace, but not for my bro to be ripped back
Summer '17 in the bathroom at school
Thought to myself "what do I got to lose"
Remembered the kids back in 6th grade tried to fucking kill me
Now I'm like "if only they knew"
I saw the blood flow down, I was rushed to the counselor
Wow her reaction was that of an outburst
Ambulance came, heard it rush from the outskirts
Searching for attention, I finally found her
I'm doing better since, but it hurts my heart
The only time that I spill is when I pour my art
Friends, abuse, bullies, my dad
My permanent reminder are these 4 scars