(Okay, sorry ma'am! If you're out there I'll try again.)
I'm on a Winnebago trip
The fridge inside contains champagne and food
Outside a sandworm is traveling down the dunes
Spawning up the rivers of sand
We come across the others
One is this tall blond ultra-skinny guy who's an anthropologist
And he has a curved Arabian-style knife and cuts me in a fight
Ooo, that'll teach me!
I talk about the insecurity of young girls, and the fear drives him off
Leaving me with his collection of Moroccan knives with their ornate ivory handles
And witchy little eastern vibes
My old boyfriеnd, Peter, appears and hits mе up for a C note
He's flat-busted and less surprised
Then the babies return
The first is this nine old year boy
He's blond, cute, and an ornery little devil
I freak out, this kid should be sent west
He's hyperactive and should be with horses
Then I realize he's my child!
The one I had with Peter
Except I don't remember having him
I'm overcome with guilt that I haven't been there for him during his formalive years
And now he's out of control!
Just like his father! A bum!
Then another child arrives
It's a little girl and her name is Doreen
She's accompanied by a woman who's bwought her and her little boy's adoption papers
According to their papers, I am their mother!
Doreen was born on 1971 and she is half black
Mulatto
She looks like a little peanut
A little brown roasted peanut!
And now I know who the father was! It was Lee!
That good-looking black guy who lived downtown near the other side of the tracks
I kinda remember sleeping with him, but I was on a couple on quaaludes at the time
I discovered I was pregnant about a month later when I was visiting my Nana?
I didn't know who the father was, but when my dad demanded to be told the truth?
It was bad enough that I was pregnant at seventeen, but it would be far worse to say "Well, it could've been one of three people, Dad"
That he couldn't've handled
So I guess I didn't have that abortion that we secretly flew to D.C. for, but, God, I have a baby, I-
Well, let's give it a second chance
Then I start to freak
Well, there goes my career
And Brad is sure to leave me now
I don't have his number so I call my friend Steve who's supposed to be doing a video
And he tells me that the MTV people waited, and waited, but then they finally went away mad
And I tried to explain to him that I couldn't leave my babies, not now! Not again! and I'm calling from a gas station in West Virginia where my husband waits for me inside his broken down old Chevy pickup!
This was my new life!
Now I'm a hick housewife from West Virginia with an unemployed husband and two screaming kids!
I say goodbye to being a movie star and feed little Doreen from tin pan filled with cookies and crackers
And I think to myself, "Keebler makes a good cracker"
(Chatter) [?]