The World’s Worst Shrink

Well I heard there's spiders
In your living room
They crawled in through the joints
In the floor

Apart from that
You say, there is a mole
Among your friends or family
And there's free spot in my bed
For a dead horse's head

It ain't hard to gain some trust in human kind
It ain't hard if it's nothing you expect
Sit down, grab a needle, stitch it
Frame it, place it on your nightstand
It is a golden rule mind it well

Self-help books
You're out of luck with me

Breath techniques
Don't cross my path now

Spiritual guides
Spare me the mail

You should have
Knocked on my door
Back when I was weak

People tell me that that I'd make
The world's worst shrink
I'd moan myself
The whole sessions through
But when you said last night you went to bed
Without the usual crying
I thought: Well then, there you go
But I won't quit my job just yet

Tarot cards
You're out of luck with me

Crystal skulls
Don't cross my path now

Doomsday cults
Spare me the mail

You should have knocked on my door
Back when I was weak

So then tell me when did sorrow settle here?
Occupying your best plushy chair
Every night you serve him tears and chocolate
Your most secret recipe
He is the man of the house
It's his well-earned due