The Wig Master

[Verse 1]
You said, "I will build you a bed of cactus
Where you can sleep
When the night is too sharp"
I said, "I will cover you with wax
And light your hair like a wick
On cold nights"

[Verse 2]
You don't think of me very often these days
But when you do
It's of me looking for you on the ship
Top deck, just calling your name
Coughing up flames
Placing blame on a silhouette that sings in the distance
Did I get caught by some kid?
Missing you by a hair with a slingshot
I did no thing
The plane might be late at takeoff
Has your face frantic printed on the wings
And when this plane crashes into the Atlantic
Will I eat the paint off before it sinks?

[Verse 3]
Should I master fatе one last time or would that make mе drown faster?
Does it matter? Should I care if I survive? I swear
On a prayer I'll spank your ass 'til you hate the wig master
But put two pillows on your dining room chair

[Verse 4]
Look, my hair's a dirty mop for you to make it get lost
Or set fire to

[Verse 5]
All's I need's a chance to pull my clothes off
And snicker "Try harder, dude"
Send me a toy, I'll use it but that's all I can offer you

[Verse 6]
"Do you want to see my panties?"
Is the last thing you ask me
"I want my ring finger in every teenager I see,"
Is the last thing you hear me say

[Outro]
That's okay, but don't make fun of my night out
That's okay, just don't make fun of my night out