The Unballed Ballad of the New Folksinger

[Verse 1: Slim Cessna]
The horse bells herald in this folk singer
Once a year, I return, but do not linger
The children gather 'round, they call me the Great Bringer
Gather 'round, gather 'round, gather 'round

[Chorus]
The great castration starts today

[Verse 2: Slim Cessna]
I found my clippers underneath a broodmare
She bucked me off, teaching me to find a pair
It bit hard, freeing me of all my cares
Gather 'round, gather 'round, gather 'round

[Chorus]
The great castration starts today

[Verse 3: Slim Cessna & Jay Munly]
That look on your face says your spine was just a rumor
I volunteer you to be the folks' future
I give you everything, as well as two sutures
Hither 'round, hither 'round, hither 'round

[Verse 4: Slim Cessna]
There'll be two for this year's folk singer class
I need one more to take the shape of Mama Cass
Forget your history, just whine about your loneliness
Hither 'round, hither 'round, hither 'round

[Chorus]
The great castration starts today

[Bridge: Jay Munly]
Gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, 'round
Gather 'round, gather 'round, 'round

[Verse 5: Slim Cessna]
The taste in your mouth is what you'll feed the folk sheep
From me to you, I've taught you as a bird eats
Water, water down, they'll gather and they'll sing a bleat
Gather 'round, gather 'round, gather 'round