The Truth

[Verse 1]
I'm not a banger anymore, for them it's still on-sight
I'm not a trapper anymore, then I'm gon' kill off rhymes
I still leave my crib with things, like I'm prepared to die
Locking off my liz' at 4am and I'll be on at 9
I put my whole life at stake and then I roll the dice
Long days, lonely nights, trapping was my only life
I'm at the Seafront, phone me if you need somethin'
Same worker for 3 months, he's living off of pizza
Grub on my tanita, can't spend a day in these dunks
Had to stand in deep mud but I cleaned up
Year 7 days, all I wanted was a wheel up
Pedal bike ride outs, we drill it then we peel off
I did more for friends than I did for family
I'm mad at me, apologies for mum for all the agony
Randomly I caught a case, they flung me in Her Majesty
If I say that it weren't God's plan, then that'll be blasphemy
Casually, I sat in Steve, dipper on me, pack on me
My darg gave me one-to-one grease, it left the cat asleep
I was just a kid throwin' stones in the channel sea
I knew there was more to life that I cannot see
I just tryna' make like 40 million off my trauma
For now, it's 400 pound a daughter, my poor son
I first met him in a visit hall, that's all fucked
That's what we call love, that's street nigga's for ya'
Tell them equity if these labels come check for me
BCM ain't an ends for me, it's a legacy
Gimmie the back-end, I don't know where you sellin' these
Rappers, keep your 30 G's, I'm a real trapper
I drop work to cheap badders when it needs bagging
If I tick this fiend somethin', I bet she vanish
The time keeps dragging, everyday the same pattern
That nigga's tryna' make it out the hood, I bet that they'll trap him
I went to war and stood tall, I'm fully secure
I can't bring them out the hood 'cause they're too immature
I'm holdin' a torch, but if I die, then what was it for?
The hood's too sore, they will always tell you "do more"
Growing up, I never thought I'd be like this
I just wanted Levi's and the newest kicks
Was shy when I chat up a bitch
When we was deep in a war, we went to his crib
Tryna' reach the Forbes, 100 M's on my bucket list
But all the money in the world still don't make you rich
If you don't stand on any morals, nigga, you ain't shit
I get an awkward feeling when they call me Nick
'Cause I see the risen blintz, but look at what they did to him
Emotional warfare, my soldiers were all there
PTSD is the only thing that we all share
Sometimes I think about the ends, like is there hope there?
I watched Stormzy's documentary, had to hold tears
I got mob ties like John Gotti, but what is it worth
If nigga's turn, the trillest in the dirt, the realist get the bird
Did I disrespect God when I did it in a Church?
I got a CC, I'm down the block, but it could be worse
That's a street nigga's retrospective, my L's were lessons
Fell forward, dust myself off, and kept it steppin'
Born Chasing Money, course, 'cause my hustle relentless
Believe, Conquer, Motivate, I made crypto investments
I told my darg, I need some hecklers, like I'm senseless
It's true I ain't active anymore, but it ain't dead yet
No honour amongst thieves, fuck a best friend
For a hundred G's, I will spin you block like [?]
I fed them and they try jeopardise the friendship
I led them, I ain't the boss, that's a misconception
All my nigga's generals now, we don't do no yes men
I ain't them, I'll die before I turn on all my bredrins
Half brick in a day, I can go do it again
Case, they did a raid, I left the food with my bae
Been in a mood all day, I'm still feelin' the pain
And it's going crazy, but I told myself I cannot break
This ain't the hunger games, we use to try go out there and kill
If you run off and you come back, man will punch your face
When my nigga died, why the fuck would I run away?
Everyday it fucks with me, I wish it went the other way
They talk a good game, but there ain't nothin' on their blade
They talk about pain, but there ain't nothin' on their plate
They calling me fake, but how when they co-operate?
We're not the same, speak to my lifers everyday
I'm still dealing with events that I cannot change
In the middle of the trench, and I can't escape
They threw their lives down the drain but that is not the case
They can't stop the clocks, can lock the locks, but can't stop the brain