The Trouser Press

One-two-three, kick

Come on everybody, clap your hands
Ooh, you're looking good
Are you having a good time? (Yeah!) I sure am
Do you like soul music? (No)
Well do the Trouser Press, baby
One-two-three, yeah

Trouser Press, baby, oooh
Do the Trouser Press, baby, whoo-oo-ah
Trouser Press, baby, whoo-yeah-ah-ah
Do the Trouser Press, baby, whoo-oo-ah-ah

Give it all you can, it's much better than
The pre-fabricated concrete coal-bunker, whoo!

(You're so savage, Roger)
Oh, press those trousers!
(Ecstasy, Bruce, ecstasy)

You've got me in creases (Shirt-grip)
What a turn-up for the books now
Trouser it to me
Don't hang me up now

(Oh yeah!)

[Spoken:]
The programme you've been listening to is a one-act play in eight parts by G. G. Dunnett for eighteen albatrosses and reservoir. The part of Old Bill was played by a frying pan. The other part of Old Bill was played by Sir Hubert Carpet who found a pair of swimming trunks up his head and was surprised to throw himself away from a lorry, part of a parcel... [fade out]