The Trouble With Tribbles

Well i worked on a garbage Scowl near the Neutral-Zone
And i'm sure you've heard what occurs when a fellow is alone
Well i was mighty lonely there 'till i met a man named Jones
But he sold me a muff, covered in fluff, so i wouldn't have to spank my bone!

So grab yourself a Tribble and then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale you'll have an endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles: They're fuzzy and their cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he can never find the hole!

Well that mate there is Scotty. He's our chief engineer
And he's never had a ho, 'cause most dont know: He's queer as Vulcan beer
I caught him with some tribbles i said "Man, are you dumb!?
Hear my song: You're doing it wrong!" he was shovin' them up his bum

So grab yourself a Tribble and then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale you'll have an endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles: They're fuzzy and their cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he can never find the hole!

Klingon Captain Koloth he's mean as he is shrewd
And on shore leave, he got us peeved because he's very rude
We beamed all of our tribbles to Koloth and his crew
But from the yells we couldn't tell just who was raping who

So grab yourself a Tribble and then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale you'll have an endless supply of ho's!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and slathered up my pole
But the trouble with these tribbles: They're fuzzy and their cute but i can never find the hole
They're fuzzy and they're cute but he can never find the hole!

Bones says these critters are all pregnant when they're born
I had just 1 now i have 1,000 maybe more
I got so many now i know just what to do
I think i'll start an interstellar heavy petting zoo! Haha!

I was on K7 when i saw Mr. Jones
And i gave him what-for and said what's more
"I'm here to pick a bone!"
That tribble that you sold me: it didn't have a hole to screw!
"You dope!" he said "You dont screw them!
You let those things screw you!"

So grab yourself a Tribble and then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale you'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and slathered up my rump
'cause the nice thing about these tribbles: They're fuzzy and they're cute and you can put them in your bum
They're fuzzy and they're cute and he can put them in his bum

So go back to your quarters and on your bunk you lay
Ya hope and pray that on our way we pass a bird of prey
The tribbles hate the Klingons: They really make them go
They get irate, then they vibrate up in your Heiney hole!

So grab yourself a Tribble and then you're good to go
If you've got enough? quadrotriticale you'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
I grabbed myself some Vaseline and slathered up my rump
'cause the nice thing about these tribbles: They're fuzzy and they're cute and you can put them in your bum
They're fuzzy and they're cute and he can put them in his bum

These tribbles...boldly going...up in your frackin' hole!