The Thud and the Echo

All the dust is settled and the ambulance is gone
And people lean out windowsills and hum their tuneless songs
And yet that yellow smoke go curling up towards the sky
Where he climbed up to dive
I hear her calling out to me, she’s laying in the back
I’m laying in this vacant space beside these tired old tracks
And baby I’m not lazy, it’s just I turned out bad
I’m wasting all I had
And nothing’s changing that
But this time I’m gonna tell myself that this time I’m gonna change
Then I’ll turn around this time and do every goddamned thing the same
And as the sun goes setting on this one of my last days
I’ll just piss it away
And laugh about my fate
And dance on my own grave
Encourage slow decay
And stew in what I’ve made
And wonder at the taste
And pretend to walk away from days that leave me dazed and grey
And check my heart and realize the one thing that don’t sway
I love you more than anything. I’m sorry I’m this way
But baby, I can’t change
And I never thought I’d fade