The Ten Commandments of Bart

Bart:
Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Chorus: Singers]
Thou shall have fun!
(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
Thou shall have fun!
(If you wanna be happy!)
Thou shall have fun!
(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
Thou shall have fun!

[Verse 1: Bart]
Ladies and gentlemen, hello, it's Bart again
Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend
'Cause like it or lump it, this is Simpson-style
And this I demand: Don't touch that dial!
I got your attention, so you'd better listen up!
Dance if you must, but please don't interrupt!
'Cause the singing I'm slingin' comes straight from the heart
I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart"

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Let us begin with commandment number ten:
Thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end
Shake it for your mama, and shake it for when
You wanna party-harty and get down in the den!
Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip
You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip
By this, I mean shake your glutius maximus
Make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!
Now comes a time for commandment number nine
It's goes something like this: thou shalt always make rhymes
'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news
Better than CNN, better than Family Values
Don't get me misconstrued, I'm not tryin' to be crude
But a bad attitude will put you in a good mood
It ain't true that our culture's in a decline
Just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line

(bass synth solo)

[Verse 3]
Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin'
The hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'
Hold on to your hats, because here come the scratchin'!
(dj does some scratching and the song stops abruplty)
Who did that?
(song restarts abruptly)
Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight
Goes exactly like this: Thou shall procrastinate!
Put another way, this means you must be late
Whenever you can, make everybody wait
When homework is due, don't give in to fate
But do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it
Of all the commandments, none can be greater...
If you want more details, come back later!

[Chorus]

[Verse 4]
Movin' right along, here's commandment number seven:
Thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to heaven
You don't say "No," you do say "Yo!"
You hear bad songs, turn up on the radio
Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?
You're going down low, where the rocks grow
The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video
Except no guitars, 'cause, wouldn't ya know
It's swell down in hell except...
The Devil plays the banjo
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Next up here is commandment number six
It goes like this: Thou shalt dance like lunatics
Got to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'
And hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'
(the drums drop out)
Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke
Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke
Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin'
I need your help, so, Maggie, please start suckin'
(Maggie sucks her pacifier rhythmically)
Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require
An inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier
(beat box drops back in, but Maggie continues to suck)
And now we arrive at commandment number five
Short and sweet: Thou shalt be alive
Take off your pants, strut around in the nude
If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?"
Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar
The countdown continues: commandment number four!
I say unto you: Thou shalt slam the door
Wake up the neighbors, that's what it's for
Slam it again. And slam it some more
Now you got a beat that never happened before

[Chorus]

[Verse 5]
Which brings us on to commandment number three:
Thou shalt question authority
'Cause authority hates curiosity
Which leads straight to originality
From there, my friends, spontaneity
And the downward spots straight to mockery
Then a hop and a skip to mutiny
Then mutiny leads to anarchy
Then a...
(Homer cuts Bart off)
Homer:
Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!
Bart:
Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:
Thou shalt do exactly what you wanna do
Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew
Raid a taboo, paint your head blue
If you're bald, go buy a toupee
If you're starved, go eat a souflee
If you're crazy, get on the subway
If you're bored, dance on the freeway
If you're sexy, put on negligee
'Cause this is what I have to say:
Hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay
Besides that, man, eh, what the hay!
And now, at last it's commandment number one
Put quite simply

Bart and Singers:
Thou shalt have fun!

[Chorus]