The Sound of Patheticness

Yo, my confidence levels low as its ever gotten
I need a hospital bed at home coz my head is throbbin
Stressin lots and poppin some lexapro's for depression often
When this insomnia settles though i'll be gettin off em
Then i stop em and my suicidal thoughts begin
So i abuse the booze that ima lose my vital organs in
When people say they like my music i will force a grin
But rap is so repetitive, a booth recycles more than bins
I can't afford a thing, i'm broke and i'm stuck with thеse fines
No licensе, no job and totally fucked in the mind
I can't apply for all these openings up in the mines
When just to lock a door i have to poke it or touch it three times
Thats OCD for ya, thats OCD for ya
Thats OCD for ya, see, its mostly been torture
Disconnected feelin like a lonely sleep walker
I'm always coverin my hands in soap and clean water
I know its seems sorta dumb and excessive
But my thoughts are fucken demented, theres a hundred a second
Theres nothin thats left for me to do but come to accept it
Time to see another psych, once again question under assessment
Stuck in a session as they analyze this anxious freak
Incase i plan to cry, standin by's a handkerchief
And its like, every time i'm at the psychs my anger peaks
Coz all i do's complain how sad my life is and repeat
Can it be that i'm stuck in a trip
Huh? i had a bit of acid once a kid
So what if none of this shit, fucken exists
And i'm just munted and sick, stuck in the grip of a drug that i did
Always wonderin if i'm even alive
Its like, maybe this is hell and as a teen i have died
Or what if i'm an alien and its a dream i'm inside
And life on earth isnt even real, see this is why
I'm afraid that i can't cope, these pages of bars wrote
I would trade for a large rope or a blade in my parched throat
I'm a slave to these darn smokes and the way that a flask soaks
All the pain that i mask though its been breaking my heart most
Coz i crave it and start moping and shaking and ask loads
Of my mates for a fast loan just to pay for a cask so
I'm ashamed on a dark road where i stay in a glass home
As i'm wasted and start throwing some majorly large stones...
The day that my arts known to be great as Picasso's
Is makin its mark slow, i'm waitin as grass grows
My craniums half broken, remaining with half totes
Amazing but part gross, am i crazy or smart? both
You get my songs, press play and my scars show
So strangers can grasp faith and relate to my past quotes
Australia's harsh poet, i bathe in a vast moat
Where the rotting dead bodies of alligators and sharks float
I watch the stars glow, searchin for a sense of peace
I'm certain that this ain't the person i was meant to be
Mentally drained, nervous coz i'm tense and weak
My verses of depression seem like murderers, their sentenced heaps
I'm meant to sleep, but i'm busy procrastinating
And i'm shaking, tryna get rid of those massive cravings
Why do my youtube videos lack the ratings
Others rappers videos have, it is so captivating
Is it the tracks i'm making, do i winge too much
I tell myself 'Sheldon' everybody thinks you suck
Your just a drop kick drinkin with a big huge gut
Its true cunt, fix your fucken issues up
I misused drugs and now i'm regrettin it
Alcohol found so i'm drownin my head in this
Fountain, forever pissed, how can i ever quit
You just listened to the sound of patheticness