The Song That Feels the Most Like the Last Song (So It’s the Last Song)

There will never be a song about this feeling
I'm trying but I can't write it
Some things can't be made into anything
You can't sort them into sense
They just become meaningless
Some escape from the facts of it
Which is that I too have been a shit
There's no pointing fingers

And though I spent many nights with a needle and thread and a song that I sang alone in my head and I patched up my clothes and wove ways I could hope I could not
Fix myself
Through you
I could not fix myself through you

But if I turn it into some story
If I spell out all the things I felt
And someone asks me about it ten years later
What the fuck am I supposed to say?