The Senator

[Verse 1]
Now, I was born in North Carolina
A state where men are men
Most folks call me "Senator"
But you can call me friend
I've served this state for many years
Ask anyone what I've done
And I supported right to life
In 1991

[Verse 2]
I got up the next morning
To have some time to think
My stomach felt real queasy
Like I'd had too much to drink
My chest felt kind of funny
It was tender to the touch
There sure was something different
But I never guеssed how much

[Verse 3]
Well, the mornings got just awful
And I'd gеt to work real late
The senators would laugh and say
"Hey, ain't you put on weight?"
My feet got sore and swollen
My pants all fit too tight
And I swear that something kicked me
When I lay down at night

[Verse 4]
So I went to see the doctor
I was feeling old and tired
He poked me up and down
And then he looked me long and hard
He said, "Well, we've got a problem
Just speaking among us men
I'm gonna make you an appointment
With an O-B-G-Y-N"

[Verse 5]
Well, I didn't get excited
No, I didn't scream or shout
I said, "Doc, you make arrangements
And we'll straighten this thing out
I'm just too old and ugly
To be some child's pa or ma"
He said, "I'd sure like to help you
But you know the law's the law"

[Verse 6]
Well, I begged him, and I pleaded
And I fell down on my knees
I said, "Doc, this here's my body
Can't I treat it like I'd please?"
He said, "I'd sure like to help you
'Cause I know that's why you're here
But you know that vote comes round again
This time again next year"