The Rum Tum Tugger (2014 London Revival Cast)

[RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken]
Me-ow!

[COMPANY]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

[MALE CAT]
If you offer him pheasant he'd rather have grouse

[FEMALE CAT]
If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat

[MALE CAT]
If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house

[FEMALE CAT]
If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat

[MALE CAT]
If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse

[COMPANY]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious kitten
For he will do as he will do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore!

[MALE CAT]
If you let him in, then he wants to be out

[MUNGOJERRIE]
He's always on the wrong side of every door

[BOMBALURINA]
And as soon as he's at home, then he'd like to get about

[MUNGOJERRIE]
He likes to lie in the bureau drawer

[MALE CAT]
But he makes such a fuss if he can't get out

[COMPANY]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
For he will do as he will do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
His disobliging ways are a matter of habit

[MALE CAT]
If you offer him fish then he always want a feast

[MALE CAT]
When there isn't any fish then he won't eat rabbit

[BOMBALURINA]
If you offer him cream then he'll sniff and sneer

[MALE CAT]
If you put it away on the larder shelf

[COMPANY]
Then you'll catch him in it right up to his ears

[RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken]
For I only like what I find for myself
I'm a big bad cat, I make my own decisions
Never try to control me 'cause I won't listen
I'm a curious, furious, the strongest beat
An alley cat's got it whack, I'm running the streets
They say you should hear me hiss
On the edge of your seat
I'm a rebel on the level with a devilish streak
You give me a grouse, I want pheasant
You give me a mouse? I'm not a peasant!
You give me the biggest house down south to live in
But I'm asking for a flat where the rats are biggest
In fact, forget the flat, I want a house in Kingston!

[COMPANY]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

(spoken)
Uh huh!

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
Let me in, I wanna be out

[COMPANY]
Uh huh!

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
When I'm at home, I wanna be about
Attack you with my sharp scratchy claws
I'm always on the wrong side of every door
I've heard people say I'm a terrible bore
You might catch me chillin' in the bureau drawer
Catchin' Zs when I please when I snooze and snore
But sure never met a cat like me before

(sung)
[COMPANY]
For he will do
As he will do

(spoken)
[RUM TUM TUGGER]
If you feed me a fish then I'll shout for a feast
Give me what I want or you'll get serious grief

[COMPANY]
Uh huh!

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
If you give me cream then I'll sniff and sneer
And you'll catch me in it right to my ears
I'm artful and knowing, I start the trouble
I'm rowin' and I'm growin' and you're quicker than [???]
I don't want hugs, don't care for snuggles
When you're on my fur, I don't purr, I struggle
Jumping on your sewing, now your task is doubled
There's nothing I like more than a horrible muddle

(sung)
[COMPANY]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
For he will do
As he will do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
For he will do
As he will do

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
And there's no doing anything
And there's no doing anything
And there's no doing anything about it!