The Rosewater Foundation

Welcome to a flowing font of truth and good and cash
If you're looking for the loot to toot a flute or cure a rash
If you're down on luck and need a buck we'll fund you in a flash

If you'd like to write a piece on Saint-Denis or Delacroix
If you must research the Church of Christ or works of Myrna Loy
Don't be bashful, we've a stashful, don't be timid, don't be coy

Baring market crashes, floods, or worse, inflation
Baring fiscal flops or fierce devaluation
In a world where next to nothing comes for free
Bet you'd never thought you'd ever live to see
So divine a shrine to fine philanthropy
As the Rosewater Foundation, INC

We've just handed Norman Mailer fifteen thou to vent his spleen
(Fly to us! Fly to us!)
Here's a grant to Will Durant and a guy named Traver Steen
(Apply to us! Apply to us!)
The photographer/biographer of Butterfly McQueen
Here's four grand for Orson Bean!

Drive to town, come down, fill out an application
We're a boon to the artistic population
They're as generous as anyone can be
As enlightened and urbane as "Camera Three"
We'll support you and we'll serve you herbal tea
At The Rosewater Foundation, NYC

(spoken)
What time was your appointment with Mr. Rosewater scheduled?

(spoken)
10:30 this morning

(spoken)
Mine was for 11. What time is it now?

(spoken)
4:45

(spoken)
Maybe he got stuck in traffic

(sung)
Here's a copy of *Horizon* to amuse you while you wait
As per usual, the president is just a little late
But unless you'd like to leave and ask for funding from the state

(spoken)
Hey can somebody give me a hand, please? I've got a lot of books here and...

(sung)
Hail, Eliot Rosewater
President and chairman
Beacon of obliging noblesse
Philanthropist deluxe
Hail, Eliot Rosewater
Rarest of those rare men
Sir you're late
Your datebook's a mess
Your wife called
Here's your tux

It's a joy to buoy the Iroquois and liberate the Cree
(Willingly! Willingly!)
Help the Idaho Grand Opera to produce Die Valkyrie
(Chillingly! Chillingly!)
And we built a "Y" in Tenafly and two in Tennessee
Yes he did that! Yes-sir-ee!

What a fella, fine example
What a paragon, a saint
(So he is, so he is!)
What a pal to those who work in prose or poetry or paint
(We know he is, we know is!)
He's devoted and he's loaded
So we haven't a complaint
And we state without restraint

He's the object of out abject adulation
I'm an outright blight of love and inspiration
He's The Rosewater Foundation, L.T.D !