The Real Thick Shady

[Intro]
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Thick Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Thick Shady please stand up?
Oh, fuck, oh wait, he's too fat, he can't stand up

[Verse 1]
Yeah, motherfucker, guess what? It's Thick Shady
My behavior so vice just like I'm Dick Cheney
This chick looks hot, don't know which way she goes
But if this bitch plays me, so
Help me god, I'll stick a switchblade to her throat
"Yo, he's saying he's gon' kill a girl, please eviscerate this bro"
Nah, I'm just playin', you dope
Chill the fuck out, I'm just jottin' lyrics
Don't worry, it's not fireworks, I'm just launchin' flares
You little bitches can't cancel me if I'm off the air
Kind of like a dude vapin' water just to cause some stares
Oh, let me jot that there, that was kind of fire
Uh, nah, but where was I? Ah, oh yeah
Do not compare me to Slim Shady or I will swear
These bitch made Gs will get popped and scared
They isn't a G—like Grande, Ari, but the G
Dosen't stand for gangster, it stands for gay, see
And I can say that 'cause Thick Shady is bi (That's a lie)
Ok, I might be a little more than bi, but I'm still straight leaning
I ain't mean it, I promise, refer to the first part of this verse
And it's obvious, oh, not again, dammit
People gonna think I'm gay, fuck

[Chorus]
I'm Thick Shady, yes I'm Thick Shady
All you other Thick Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Thick Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Thick Shady, yes I'm Thick Shady
All you other Thick Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Thick Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Outro]
Uhhhh, it's ken kaniff
I can't really do a ken voice, I'm trying
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yuh, it's the real thick shady