The Postmodernist Drinking Song

[Verse 1]
Michel Foucault was a genuine pervert
And it made him awful sad
He invented philosophical doctrines
Designed to drive us all quite mad
Critical racists now annoy us
They accuse and satirize
Multiplying all around us
It's time we cut them down to size

[Chorus]
We'll drink, and drink, and drink
To those who won't think, can't think, ratfinks
Saviours of the known universe
For they invented philosophical notions
Deconstructive in every way

[Verse 2]
Jacques Derrida that old joker
Stuck a poker in our eyes
Tried to challenge anciеnt wisdom
All he did was demonize
Ta-Nahisi and Kimbеrlé Crenshaw
They're pretentious in every way
But they're nothing compared to Butler
We all pray she'll fade away

[Chorus]
We'll drink, and drink, and drink
While on the brink, the brink, the brink
Those saviours of the known universe
Who invented philosophical notions
Most conducive to disgrace

[Verse 3]
Richard Rorty (Richard Rorty)
Is truly not helpful (is truly not helpful)
With his assurance nothing's real (with his assurance nothing's real)
What of hunger? (what of hunger?)
Mr. Skeptic (Mr. Skeptic)
When a child lacks a meal (when a child lacks a meal)

[Verse 4]
And Andrea Dworkin once a hooker
Celebrated as a sage
Who proclaimed that sex was raping
She's a model for our age
DiAngelo known as Robin
Is she a disgrace to her race?
Groups define us oh so she proclaims
It's time we put her in her place

[Chorus]
We'll drink, and drink, and drink
While on the brink, the brink, the brink
Those saviours of the known universe
Whose transgressive philosophical doctrines
Leave destruction everywhere