The Poodle Lecture [Conceptual Continuity]

In the beginning God made the light, just like that. Shortly thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first mistake was roughly entitled the poodle. Check him out. Our guest poodle tonight is Frenchy. Now when God . . . say hi to Frenchy if you don't mind. When God first decided to build the poodle actually it was a mistake because he wanted to build a Schnauzer, he did fuck up. He knows it now, he did fuck up with the poodle. The original poodle had hair evenly distributed all over it's small piquant charming canine type body. Then God made these other two mistakes. Mistake number two was man. Mistake number three was Wo-man. Wo-man has always been extremely clever even since the olden days. And man has always been extremely stupid even since the olden days, and any Wo-man will tell you that. Of course that's not the problem with the poodle. The Wo-man looked at the poodle with lust in her heart. She wanted to find a way to appreciate, too find a deeper appreciation of the poodle's snout area. However she did not wish to do this with poodle hair sticking out all over the place, no no no, that would have been too common. The poodle of her dreams had to have a disco look and so she devised a plan. She turned to the man and she said: "Sucker, go get a job." And the man got off his booty and left the Garden Of Eden Went out and got a job pushing a broom for about $2.98 an hour, and then he came back and gave the money to the wo-man. Who immediately took the money left Garden Of Eden herself and went to the nearest hardware store to purchase some scissors some clippers and a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers, that's right. She came back and she did a J.O.B. on the D.O.G. she cleaned of his B.A.C.K. his T.H.O.R.A.X. his T.U.M. T.U.M. and here right this area near flint, she removed the tiny brown particles that were so unattractive in those days. The she tweezed thoroughly around this area here too reveal the little red flanel succulent pink moist tittalating poodle like tongue And then induced the dog itself too squat on his hind legs as I will now demonstrate. Can you all see the dog squatting? Well, just imagine the dog squatting, cause the next part you're gonna understand fairly good. The dog is squatting see, for those of you who can't see him squatting, and the woman goes over . . . Get the fuck out of the way . . . and sits up the dog's snout making it go up inside of her mystery zone, little black poodle lips and all, including the whiskers and all of the little hair on the chin and everything as I will now demonstrate Somehow or another while she was down there she managed to look deep into the eyes of this aforementioned poodle and she said these words: