The Piss Test (skit)

(Door creaks open)
Doctor: Hello Mr. Brown. Have a seat
Mr. Brown: Hello miss. How are you today?
Doctor: So have you been abiding by all your conditions?
Mr. Brown: Oh yeah. Absolutely. 100 percent
Doctor: Oh really. So you're telling me you haven't done any cocaine or ecstasy or marijuana?
Mr. Brown: No no. Absolutely not. I gave up all that stuff. I'm clean. I swear
Doctor: Look me in the eyes, Sean. If I were to have you take a urine analysis right now. are you telling me that you would pass it?
Mr. Brown: Again? Man, I just took one last week. I thought this stuff was supposed to be random
Doctor: Answer the question, convict. Are you clean or aren't you?
Mr. Brown: Yes, I am, as a matter of fact
Doctor: Alright then. Here's the cup
Mr. Brown: Fuck. (zips down pants) (pees into cup
Doctor: Well, what's taking so long?
Mr. Brown: Well, why you gotta be staring at it like that? Damn. (zips up pants) Here you go
Doctor: Finally. Are you nervous or- (smoke comes out) What the--? Oh my fucking god. It's melting through the cup you lying sack of shit
Mr. Brown: Bitch shut the fuck up and get the police. It's been a while since I seen the man damn anyway. Like I give a fuck. Fuck outta here