The Phillip Ruddock Blues

[Intro]
Help yourself
Help, help yourself
Help yourself
Help, help yourself

[Refrain]
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody

[Chorus]
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself

[Verse 1]
Australians all let us rejoice
Buddy, hold your horses
It's time patriotism was
Exposed to market forces
The love of country may not fit
In with efficiency
Costs exceeded benefits
At Gallipoli
Self-sacrifice just cannot pass
A profit loss assessment
Those ANZAC boys were slaughtered on
Returns for investment
A government will only stop
You getting what you can
It just distorts the market
You help your fellow man

[Refrain]
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody

[Verse 2]
From the cradle to the grave
Let self-interest be the rule
Why should we help those parents who
Send kids to state schools?
I got a fuck-off job, I got a fuck-off car
I got my fuck-off girlfriend in a fuck-off bar
You want the fuck-off time? The fuck-off day?
"Look at my fuck-off watch", I fuck-off say

[Verse 3]
To get a job that pays for fees
It's easy, all you jerks
You need to go to private schools
You see, the system works
This is my fuck-off club, this is my fuck-off crowd
The fuck-off DJ trip will take the fuck-off sound
You want to fuck-off dance? Drink at my fuck-off place?
The answer's written on the bouncer's fuck-off face

[Verse 4]
Why should we let towel-heads in
'Cause their ships won't float?
What other race has ever come
To Australia on a boat?
And if self-interest should rule
Five miles out from shore
Why the hell don't it apply
To those who live next door?
Why the hell don't it apply
To those who live next door?

[Refrain]
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody

[Chorus]
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself

[Verse 5]
Why should you ask me for my help
Just 'cause you're Aussie too?
What's the difference between
Those boat people and you?
Australians all at once rejoice
At our shared common wealth
But now if you're Australian
Help your fucking self

[Chorus]
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself
Everybody help yourself