The People from The Second Way

Seriously, this is a tragedy
It happened just this way
I was minding my own business when the telephone rang
It was the People from the Second Way
They asked to talk to the figurehead
They thought that he'd have something to say
And they wanted to convince him to take his place
At the head of their cavalcade

Come on now, come on now, we've waited
Come on now, we've waited a long time for you
Come on now, come on now, we've waited
Come on now, we've waited a long time for you

There's a Second Way
You can join up today
There's a Second Way
Sign up now, don't delay

I said, "I don't know what you're talking about
You've clearly made an awful mistake
There's nobody here but the gardener
And he's out on a break
I'd love to stay on and chat for a while
But life gets in the way
And I'm busy living here in cuckoo land
And I'm busy living here in Cockaigne"

Come on now, come on now, we've waited
Come on now, we've waited a long time for you
Come on now, come on now, we've waited
Come on now, we've waited a long time for you

The voice said, "You should be ashamed of yourself
There are people waiting out here for you"
I said, "You've probably entered the numbers wrong
Because I can't do what you want me to do"

I can't do what you want me to do
I can't do what you want me to do

Down the line came an irascible groan
I said, "Hey, we've never had it so good"
They said, "True, but we wanted to dream some more
And you promised us that we could"

There's a Second Way
You can join up today
There's a Second Way
Sign up now, don't delay
There's a Second Way
You can join up today
There's a Second Way
Sign up now, don't delay