The Origin of Shayna Maidel

[Lyrics of “The Origin of Shayna Maidel”]

[Verse 1]
From the time he’s 3
Little Jamie’s free
To be Shayna Maidel
Sure, it’s down the line
But little Jamie’s mine
And I could already tell

Skating ‘round the room
Singing into a broom
Pirouettes in the air
Making skirts from a Tallis
And why would I stall this
When it’s already there?

[Chorus]
Oh, Jamie
You were destined for the shining lights of
Crystal City
Foggy Bottom, Dupont, Columbia Heights, oh
Pretty girl
Dashing boy, you go ahead and set your sights
As high as hell

[Bridge]
And that’s how Jamie became
Shayna Maidel

[Verse 2]
By 14 years old
Jamie does as he’s told
Studies up before bed
John Waters and Fiddler
RuPaul and Bette Middler
Swim around in his head

Sure, math is essential
But not consequential
Like Baldwin and Cher
Teens are a mystery
But give them a history
To show them they’re there

[Chorus]
Oh, Jamie
I may be a little too invested, but
Can you blame me
For being super interested when
Other mothers
Deliver orange slices to basketball games
And I help you pick out devices to insinuate
A feminine frame

[Bridge]
And that’s how Jamie became
Shayna Maidel

[Verse 3]
And I won’t pretend​
That you’ll lean on me forever
And I comprehend
This is not a mother-son endeavor
Well, at least not in perpetuity
So for now I’ll treasure
This time together
Just you, and me
And Shayna Maidel

Now 16 and driving
Jamie is thriving
And finding his way
5’11’’ in heels
Got his schtick and his spiels
He eschews vérité

And well, as for me
I’m happy to be
Just one in the crowd
Waving and screaming
I’ll be there beaming
As long as his mother’s aloud

[Chorus]
Oh, Jamie
You keep me on my tippy toes, you
Couldn’t pay me to turn it
Down, just call me Mama Rose, oh
Pretty Girl
Dashing boy is it too on the nose
To say you make me proud
No, you make me kvell

[Bridge]
And that’s how Jamie became
Shayna Maidel
And that’s how Jamie became
Shayna Maidel