The Night You Picked Up the Check

I saw a man eating fire
Another one walking the high wire
Saw an honest politician
Some dude with X-ray vision

But the most amazing thing that I've ever seen
Even better than that centerfold in playboy magazine was

The night you picked up the check
Atheists began to genuflect
The earth stood still, the sea was parted
Love came to the broken-hearted
Nature's balance seemed to be upset
The night you picked up the check

Some people throw down a fifty
You've got a gift for being thrifty
When you reach in your pocket
Your arm slips out of socket

That's why I nearly died, could not believe my eyes
I was stunned, speechless, taken by surprise

The night you picked up the check
Was a sight I never will forget
Rattled by the revelation

Couldn't start a celebration
I was paralyzed by the effect
The night you picked up the check

Penny pinching's your religion
And you're always on a mission
So no way I could envision
You'd break with tradition

This unexpected act of reciprocity
Was met with shock, awe and curiosity
Grown men began to cry
Women fainted at the sight

Everybody wondering at the same time
If you'd come to your senses or left them behind
The night you picked up the check