The Negative

[BECKY, spoken]
Jenna, time to pee on a stick!

[JENNA, spoken]
I don't wanna know.

[BECKY]
C'mon honey, you've waited long enough

[BECKY & DAWN]
Get to it and do it

[JENNA, spoken]
Okay girls, enough!

[BECKY & DAWN]
You know what we mean

[DAWN]
I hope you drank enough this mornin'

[BECKY]
C'mon sweetie, it's better to know
We'll be right here with you so

[DAWN]
It's no or it's yes
But either way you gotta take the test

[BECKY]
A squat and a squeeze
A prayer and a please
It's nothin'

[DAWN]
A stick and a line

[JENNA]
Just one of 'em - if I'm lucky

[BECKY & DAWN]
A pot and a piss
Here we go sis
An' we'll keep our focus on

[JENNA, BECKY, & DAWN]
The negative!

[BECKY, spoken]
Read the instructions

[DAWN, spoken]
Se puede saber la duración de la-

[BECKY, spoken]
English!

[DAWN, spoken]
Do not insert the test stick into your vagina.

[BECKY, spoken]
Wooow. Thank you, Dawn.

[JENNA]
How'd I ever get myself in this mess?
One drunk night an' that stupid red dress

[DAWN, spoken]
Aw, I love that red dress! The way it sparkles, it looks like a ice-skating outfit!

[BECKY, spoken]
Ugh, stay with us, Dawn!

[DAWN]
Maybe his machinery is broken somehow?
What if his boys don't swim, I mean, wow!
(spoken)
Miraculous luck!

[BECKY, spoken]
Damn, miraculous!
(sung)
To get away with an unprotected fu-!

[JENNA]
Funny how one night
Can ruin your whole life

[BECKY & DAWN]
Don't go there yet
We don't know what the test says

[JENNA]
I'm already panicked!

[BECKY, spoken]
Just calm down, god damn it!

[DAWN]
Maybe it'll all be fine

[BECKY & DAWN]
Maybe there'll be just one line

[JENNA, BECKY, & DAWN]
Come on, negative!

[DAWN, spoken]
I thought you don't sleep with your husband much anymore?

[JENNA, spoken]
Well, I - (sigh) he got me drunk. I do stupid things when I drink, like — sleep with my husband.

[BECKY, spoken]
Honey, we've all made that mistake!

[JENNA, BECKY, & DAWN]
Focus on the negative!

[BECKY]
This will all be alright

[DAWN]
It was only one night

[JENNA]
Someone
Send me a sign

[BECKY & DAWN]
One line

[JENNA, BECKY, & DAWN]
One line

[BECKY & DAWN]
That means the test is ready
This is it...

[JENNA, spoken]
...shit