The Most Heated Rap Battle of All Time

[Intro: Anthony Fantano, Emily Hopkins]
'Kay, alright, mmm
Uh
Uh, uh, uh
(Emily laughs)
What?
I can't, "Uh, uh, uh"
You can't—, you can't laugh at me mic checking
This is serious business
Mic check is cool, okay, I'm serious
Okay, alright
It's a cool mic check
A cool mic check
A cool mic check
A cool mic check
Okay, okay
Alright, let's go, let's go, let's go
Okay, I'm ready

[Verse 1: Anthony Fantano]
There's a disconnect
You don't play guitar, but you peddle effects?
And what's with the hair, is it blonde or brunette?
Did you start a bleach job and then half-way forget?
If we never met
I'd say a poly librarian is the vibe that I get
I run laps around you and I don't even sweat
Can't take me in this battle 'cause all my takes are correct

[Verse 2: Emily Hopkins]
Call me Corey Feldman, I'm the Comeback King
I'll ban you from my show so you can't hear my harp sing
I don't want your opinions, I just want the facts
'Cause my channel makes up for everything yours lacks
Like a hipster with a latte, all froth, no brew
Your shit got us yawning, that's enough slices for you
You're droppin' needles? Well, I'm droppin' mics
And my viewers drop their panties while yours drop dislikes

[Verse 3: Anthony Fantano]
What's more embarrassing?
The harp, or constantly getting those Goth Egg comparisons?
You're two-for-two, let's go three-for-three
'Cause your gooner fanbase is scaring me
Your comment section's like a bad infection
I suit up when I read it 'cause I need protection
It's nasty, it's sticky, and it's got an odor
Show a judge your DMs and get a restraining order
Or change your name, that'll work, I bet
Because who'll look up "Emily Clarinet?"

[Verse 4: Emily Hopkins]
With your Harry Potter glasses and a dumb, stupid hat
The only good review you gave was a 10 for 'BRAT'
Yeah, you got a strong rep and some cool leg tattoos
But this battle is one you're gonna lose
You're the worst reviewer in all the land
And nobody actually wants to shake your hand
So take your opinions and put 'em to bed
'Cause my fire's gonna shine like the top of your head

[Outro: Anthony Fantano, Emily Hopkins, Camera Guy]
(Anthony laughing)
I don't wanna drop it, it's gonna be too loud
Gently place it
Gently place the mic
That's it, that's it
(Emily laughs)