The Messenger (Skit)

{set in a restaurant with muzak playing in the background}
Krayzie aw sh*t. excuse me man, excuse me
Waiter uh, yes sir?
Krayzie could you tell me where the payphone at in here or somethin'?
Waiter certainly. back there by the wine racks
Krayzie all right, thanks a lot. thank you, thank you
Waiter oh, you're welcome sir
Krayzie sh*t. it's a classy-ass, m*thaf*ckin' restaraunt. know this m*thaf*cker
Got the money, punk m*thaf*cker
Sh*t. {pick's up phone, dialtone, puts in money and dials, it rings.}
His contact hello?
Krayzie yeah, hello?
Contact what's happenin'?
Krayzie yeah, I'm in the m*thaf*ckin' spot now, man...
Contact he there?
Krayzie I don't see nobody yet, but I know the nigga'll be here. he got
Reservations
Contact all right, handle your business
Krayzie I think I see his broad comin' in right now...
Contact right on time
Krayzie so don't worry about sh*t. I'm a handle this nigga, man. this nigga in a
Classy-ass, muthaf**kin' restaurant;
I know this nigga got the m*thaf*ckin' money. don't worry about sh*t, I'm a have
It. all right?
Contact no mercy, nigga
Krayzie all right. {hangs up phone}
Broad excuse me
Waiter uh, yes ma'am
Broad I have a reservation. it's for jones
Waiter for jones? let me see here for a minute. oh yes, mr. jones called. he
Said, he is running late
But I am to seat you now
Broad okay, thank you
Waiter follow me this way. here you go ma'am. um, would you like to start with

Something to drink while you wait?
Broad do you have a chardonnay?
Waiter most certainly. coming right up. oh, and uh, here is mr. jones right now
Hi, mr. jones how are you this evening?
Mr. jones hey, what's up? what's up? what's up?
Broad hi, baby
Mr. jones hey, baby. damn
Broad baby, what took you so long? I been just waitin' and waitin'. this is a
Nice place
Mr. jones yeah, it's cool. it's cool. did you order yet?
Broad no, baby. I was waitin' on you...baby?
Mr. jones what? what's happenin'?
Broad that guy's been staring at me since I've sat down
Mr. jones what dude?
Broad you know him?
Mr. jones what dude?
Broad that guy over there
Mr. jones over where? aw, sh*t
Broad baby, what's wrong?
Mr. jones damn, don't worry about it! just...damn. just...just be cool, just be
Cool
Broad baby, he's walkin' over here now
Mr. jones oh, sh*t
Broad baby, he's...baby he's goin' in his jacket
Krayzie message for mr. jones, m*thaf*cker!
Broad oh, sh*t!
{admist a massive array of gunfire and commotion, screaming, glass breaking
Reloading.}
Mr. jones cover your head
Krayzie punk m*thaf*cker. punk m*thaf*cker! {gunfire ceases}
F*ck you! get the f*ck out my way! get the f*ck out my way!
{gunfire} f*ck you! get the f*ck out my way. get the f*ck out my way
A bystander my leg! my leg!