The Menstrual Rag

Once a month your girl's upset
She goes to Boots to buy Lil-Lets
It happens every 28 days
When she's in her lutial phase

All she does is moan and nag
You go five days without a shag
Forget the cunnilingus
You can only use your fingers
When she's using a menstrual rag

For the week or two preceding
The days your other half is bleeding
The moody bitch is in a stress
Complaining about PMS, and
When her womb has started sluffing
You won't be eating any muffin
2-4-6-8
Come on girls, let's menstruate!

Heavy flow or gentle spotting
Running her down her legs or clotting
All that lining that she sheds leaves
Nasty patches on your bedsheets
Just don't waste your efforts pleading
You won't be shagging when she's bleeding
The mefenamic acid means
You might as well be flacid
When she's using a menstrual rag

It's hard to be all that devoted
When she is looking fat and bloated
From all the water she's retaining
While her pants have nasty staining
You won't be doing any groping
When she's losing hemoglobin
2-4-6-8
Come on girls, let's menstruate!

Get those Bodyforms with wings
And grab your Tampax by the strings
And Tena Lady sanitary pads
Come on boys, you've seen the ads!
This dance is sweeping through the nation
Here's three cheers for menstruation
It's the latest phase, every 28 days
They're all using the menstrual
Using the menstrual rag