The Logic of Crocodiles

I am a very important person
I've acquired a genetically altered handshake
Capable of speeds up to thirty miles an hour
Hair arranged by
The most advanced
Landscape
Surveillance operators our company can afford

I have a very expensive pen
I use big words quite often
In substitution for semantically equivalent words
I attribute this success to my professional demeanor and my strong stock portfolio

Though it may not appear so
I am quite comfortable in my surroundings
I have everything, let me show you around

Smile, you fucker
It's not often you get this chance
Love is just an exchange of corporate documents
I've reviewed your rapport
And I feel you're a prospect for
Mechanical salvation

This is a joint venture that will be mutually
Advantageous to both parties involved
Technically this is just a business merger
A consolidation of liquid assets
We are respectively geared towards customer service
There is a great possibility for corporate sponsorship

If you're willing, I'm sure
We could synchronize agendas
Swift and efficient satisfaction
Oh, satisfaction, baby, oh, come on

Through innovative planning
We could form a strong strategic
Partnership capable of overcoming
Sensitive and adverse predicaments
Which will be discussed at the next
Goals assessment meeting

Promotion possibility
And additional benefits
Are diagrammed in my
Preliminary objective outline
Raises are granted based on performance