The Lighter Side of Dating

Monster multispeed vibrator
Eveready PP3
Coffee, ginseng, percolator
Love cream and vitamin E

Get hip, unzip your lip and flip out now
Allow your jowl a howl and rip out now

Miss Universe is not averse
To bisexuality
I think abortion is a caution
And I like to ski

Arab strap, 10" erection
Vacuum pumps and padded pants
Carrot juice for the complexion
Stud 100, chocolate ants

Get smart, and start to tart your heart with art
Spread out your head and educate your parts

Miss Solar System, when asked to list them
Said she had no men
I'm still a virgin, with no urge in
Vote for my hymen

Karma Sutra, Perfumed Garden
Shave the legs to smooth from rough
Esteé Lauder, Chanel, Arden
Eyebrow pencil, powder puff

Get high, untie your thigh and fly, Lotte
Submerge in a dirge and emerge potty

In silver bells and little else
I wiggle and I sway
I'll either be a Penthouse Pet
Or an easy lay