The Leaking Ark

What if all the animals were given Christian names?
If we anthropomorphised them all to some degree
What if every baby deer essentially became
A Bambi?
Every fattened and shackled sow a Peppa Pig?

Every fish a Nemo or Dory
Every rabbit a Peter or Buggs
Every duck a Donald or Daffy
In every pond lives a Kermit Frog

We gather around our plates
To mourn every morsel of microwave steak
Every cheap piece of meat feels like a dearly deceased member of the family

My bird, Susanne, just choked to death on a Tesco carrier bag
As the oil spilled into the reef it was curtains for Tina and Keith
Margery screamed in desperation as her baby was taken away after 3 days and
Barry's burrow
Was excavated
To make way for a basement extension
Which was to house a taxidermy collection

We gather around our plates
To mourn every morsel of microwave steak
This monkey reminds me of my father and it's getting harder to apply the mascara

A bolt through the head
A leash around a neck
And dance for me on your hind legs
Pingu lost his igloo
Dumbo lost his tusks
And other such quips, oh you get the gist
I've just run out of cute ways to say I think the human race is fucking disgusting, mate