THE LAST OF US

What if the next breath was my last, would i be happy looking back on the past
Or would i feel like i just missed it all, too busy trying to survive
And in the mirror, i see a man that’s tormented by the ghosts of the past, he about to fall
In my fantasy, the ghosts, i grabbed a shotgun and i shot em all

I’ve become a stranger to myself, for years, i was living for somebody else
And now there’s something strange in my brain, it’s kind of like im dependent on the pain
But wait, slowly im getting much stronger, i can’t feel anymore, there’s a numbness
Realized the ways in which i wronged her, found a way, with no Log Pose or compass

I keep on walking at night in a city that’s way too big to be alone in
Got a bottle, a pack of smokes, and i’m replacing love with every possible toxin
Guess i really did pick my poison, towards the end there’s so much shit i phoned in
Okay, i used up, every possible toxin

Woke up, four years been living a dream
Lesson learned, i understood, things are not what they seem
Cos when i wake up now, i’m taking so many pills
Like was it worth it, i don’t know, all i can do is scream

Im fucking messed up, hope this shit will get better
And it’s been a while now, and pretty soon i’ll forget her
Cos i’ve changed, i mean just look at my dresser
I’ll never be the same again, i know i won’t ever get her

If there’s an apocalypse, then i’ll be the last of us
So many things i coulda done better, i fucked em up
I got my dark thoughts with me, they afraid of us
I found god through making music, is it blasphemous

But don’t tell me, i don’t wanna know, cos this is all i got
Sure i look better than ever, but it’s never enough
I can’t let somebody get close, i just be running off
And maybe they’ll start giving a fuck if i scream loud enough

No shit, i don’t wanna die, i just wanna stop existing cos sometimes i get tired
Of the lies, i had to tell myself to try and survive, all this time
Im fucking sick of people tryna find out, just what

(just what)

What the fuck is going on inside of me
Stop tryna heal me, why the fuck won’t they just let me bleed
I wonder why i feel like i’m wired so differently
Stop tryna help me, fucks sake, the pain is what i need

We kind of were a recipe for a disaster
Now i see it all, and all it’s bringing up is laughter
Moving on, i’m writing more pages of a new chapter
But what if everything i try to build ends up like Rapture

I can’t stand the thought of feeling empty on my deathbed
I wanna be remembered, wanna be inside all their heads
Cos you ain’t dead til they stop thinking of you
Maybe i can start fresh, maybe i can begin anew

I keep on walking at night in a city that’s way too big to be alone in
Got a bottle, a pack of smokes, and i’m replacing love with every possible toxin
Guess i really did pick my poison, towards the end there’s so much shit i phoned in
Okay, i used up, every possible toxin

I keep on walking at night in a city that’s way too big to be alone in
Got a bottle, a pack of smokes, and i’m replacing love with every possible toxin
Guess i really did pick my poison, towards the end there’s so much shit i phoned in
Okay, i used up, every possible toxin

Now you tell me, that you’re watching still
I don’t feel the same things for you that i once did
But i really wish you well, i don’t forget, but i forgive
And when i see the pictures finally i feel no sting

Im at peace now, don’t know if we’ll meet again
But i’m letting go, so i’m feeling fine either way
Im fucking proud i did so much more in the four months than ever before, i didn’t even have to throw the pictures away

Of course i fucking know, what fucking day it was last week
But i just can’t, cos you don’t hold the answers i seek
If Im not sure who i am, at least i know what i need
It’s time im pretty sure you get it, you know what i mean

Huh don’t you, seeing all my old problems in the rearview
All the memories, all the time i spent with you
It’s all gone, it’s all gone, it’s getting further away cos i put it all in my rearview