The Houseplant Song

Once I read a book
And this is what it said
"If your music has a beat
Then you're gonna wind up dead."
It doesn't really matter
If it's CHRISTIAN or not
If it's syncopated rhythm
Then your soul is gonna rot!

And this book was called
"HA, You're gonna BURN!"
And in the second chapter
I went on to learn...

Take two houseplants
And put 'em to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers
To let the music do the rest
First one you play Mozart
Or something lovely like that
Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!
Doesn't really matter WHAT kinda rock it is

So I took my two houseplants
And I put them to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers
To let the music do the rest
I powered up my Pioneers to let the music roar
But twenty minutes later, someone's knocking at my door

I opened up my door
And there my neighbor stood
He said, "Man, I'd like to get some sleep
If you think I could."
I said, "Man, can't you see here
I have got this moral dilemma I have got to get clear
He said, "What kind of moral dilemma can you have at this time of night
That could make me so angry I JUST WANNA FIGHT!"

Sorry

So I pointed to the page
In that opened book
That had a picture of a potted plant, and I said
"Go have a look."

And he read:

Take two houseplants
And put 'em to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers
To let the music do the rest
First one you play Mozart
Or something lovely like that
Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!
Doesn't really matter WHAT kinda rock it is

"First of all," he said
"That's Wagner that you're playin'
I've never heard of Petra
And isn't Megadeth all dead?"
And secondly, emphatically
He asked me, "What's the sense
Of hanging out with houseplants
When, hey, I live right across the fence?"
And I thought to myself
Y'know, that's a good point

So I took my two houseplants
And I put 'em both back outside
And me and my neighbor
Well, we went out for a ride
We talked about all the things
That really matter most
Like life n' love n' happiness
And then the Holy Ghost."

Now my two houseplants
Can sit out in the sun
And as for my neighbor
Well, our friendship has become
A meaningful relationship
That's headed straight to heaven
But as for now
We like to sit around and listen to
Audio Adrenaline, CRANKED TO ELEVEN!