The Heat is on in Saigon (Live West End Revival

[Americans]
The heat is on in Saigon
The girls are ready to screw
On of these slits here will be Miss Saigon
And since we're stuck here in hell
What's a soldier to do

The stick is making me choke
Turns out this war is a joke
Turns out the joke is on you

[Engineer]
Hey Monsieur Chris! Monsieur John!
You've come to win Miss Saigon?

[John]
I gotta get my friend laid as a last souvenir

[Chris]
I love you pal but your bullshit
I've had up to here

[Engineer, spoken]
It's about time you got laid!
[John, spoken]
Whatever, man.
[Engineer, John, Chris]
The heat is on in Saigon

[John]
But 'till they tell us we're gone
I'm gonna buy you a girl

[Chris]
You can buy me a beer

[Engineer]
It's showtime!

(spoken)
From Haiphong to the Mekong Delta, may I present the most beautiful girls in Saigon,
Mimi...

[Mimi]
See my bikini, it's just the right size

[Engineer, spoken]
Yvette...

[Yvette]
Don't you enjoy how it rides up my thighs?

[Engineer, spoken]
Dominique...

[Dominique]
Look from behind, it'll knock out your eyes

[Engineer, spoken]
Yvonne...

[Yvonne]
I'll show you my special trophy of war

[Engineer, spoken]
Oh she will
Fifi...

[Fifi]
For a Marine, I'll show more
[Americans]
You won't get up off the floor
The heat is on in Saigon
Don't tell me I'm reassigned
All that chickenshit sucks
Tonight I'm out of my mind
Not to mention ten bucks

[Engineer, spoken]
You all know her as
The Sex Toy from Hanoi
Miss Gigi van Tranh!

[Gigi]
If I'm your pin-up, I'll melt all your brass
Stuck on your ball with a pin in my ass
If you get me you will travel first class
I'll show you, we will make magic, cheri

[Engineer]
You buy more tickets from me
The winner gets her for free

[Chris]
The meat is cheap in Saigon
I used to love getting stoned, waking up with some whore
I don't know why I went dead, it's not fun anymore

[Engineer, spoken]
How about something fresh from the country, untouched
Legs un-parted, parts uncharted,
Kim...

[Kim]
I'm seventeen and I'm new here today
The village I come from seems so far away
All of these girls here know much more what to say
But I know
I'm so much more than you see
A million dreams are in me

[Chris]
Good Jesus, John, who is she?

[Americans and Girls]
The Cong is tightening the noose
Is it a week or a day or an hour we got?
Tonight could be our last shot, got to put it to use.
I got a fever babe and you're gonna catch it
I got an itch and baby you'd better scratch it

[Americans]
Mimi, Gigi, Yvette or Yvonne
Gonna buy me a beer
Here's to you Miss Saigon

[Engineer, spoken]
Yvonne,

Yvette,

Fifi,

Mimi,

Kim,

Gigi!

Attention, s'il vous plait!
By popular demand
Miss GIgi van Tranh
Is tonights' Miss Saigon

[Americans]
The heat is on in Saigon
How we get used to the smell
So let's wasted, get high and get laid
A good-bye party in hell!

[Engineer, spoken]
And now who wins my little pussycat?
Number 66!