The Hammer

[MISS TRUNCHBULL]
Look at these trophies
See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight?
See how they shine?

What do you think it took to become
English Hammer-Throwing Champion 1969?
Do you think in that moment
When my big moment came
That I treated the rules
With casual disdain?
Well? Like hell!

As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan?
Hmm? What?
As I chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands?
I did not!
As I started my spin, did I look at the view?
Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two?
Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation?
Do you think I altered my intended elevation?
As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt
From the grunt I had practised for many a month?
Not a jot! Not a dot did I stray from the plot!
Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten
Not even when the hammer left my hands
And sailed high up, up above the stands
Did I let myself go?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

If you want to throw the hammer for your country
You have to stay inside the circle all the time
And if you want to make the team
You don't need happiness or self-esteem
You just need to keep your feet inside the line
Sing, children. 2, 3, 4!
If you want to throw the hammer for your country

[CHILDREN]
Bambinatum est magitum

[MISS TRUNCHBULL]
You have to stay inside the circle all the time

[CHILDREN]
Circulum magitum magitum

[MISS TRUNCHBULL]
And if you want to teach success
You don't use sympathy or tenderness

[CHILDREN]
Tenderness

[MISS TRUNCHBULL]
You have to force the little squits to toe the line!
Sing, Jenny! 2, 3, 4!

[MISS HONEY]
If you want to throw the hammer for your country

[CHILDREN]
Bambinatum! Bambinatum! Gloria magitum!

[MISS HONEY]
You have to stay inside the circle all the time

[CHILDREN]
Circulum est deus! Deus!

[MISS TRUNCHBULL]
Apply just one simple rule
To hammer-throwing, life, and school:
Life's a ball, so learn to throw it
Find the bally line and toe it
And always keep your feet inside the line

Now get out!