The Great Historical Bum (The Bragging Song)

[Intro]
CM: I think that it might be appropriate for us
To introduce ourselves individually to you
My name is Chad Mitchell
And I'm from Spokane, Washington

JF: My name is Joe Frazier, and I'm from Lebanon, Pennsylvania
Uh, Lebanon is in, is situated in one of the most fertile valleys in the East Coast

MK: My name is Mike Kobluk
And I come the great Canadian Southwest
And I come from a town called Trail, British Columbia
And it's noted for its lead-zinc smelter which is world-known
It's the biggest in the world

JF: Well, uh, everybody knows that in Pennsylvania
We've a great many steel mines and steel mills and things
And Lebanon has one of the largest one's there
It's my home town

MK: Trail is not a one-industry town, you know
Uh, Trail also is the center for the Elephant brand fertilizer which is
No, this is true
No, really, no
This is true, though
We have uh-uh-uh a company that makes nothing but Elephant brand fertilizer
And it's the biggest, biggest company of its kind in the whole world

JF: Ah well, Lebanon, Pennsylvania is right near Hershey, Pennsylvania
You've all heard of that and uh
That's where they make all the chocolate
And there are more candy bars made there
Than any other place in the whole country

MK: Trail is also noted
Because last year the Trail Smoke Eaters Hockey Team
Won the World Hockey Championships over in Sweden

JF: The amateur hockey championships

MK: The World Hockey Championships over in Sweden
Yes, they won

CM: Guess I forgot to mention that Spokane, Washington
Is the apple, cherry and blue-leaf cabbage center
Of the entire state

[Verse 1]
I was born about ten thousand years ago
There ain't nuthin' in this world that I don't know
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses playin' ring-around-the-roses
And I'll whup the guy that says it isn't so

[Verse 2]
Well, I'm just a lonesome traveler, a great historical bum
Highly educated through history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages, it was in the year oh one
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

[Verse 3]
I saw Adam and Eve driven from the door
I'm the guy that picked the fig leaves that they wore
And from behind the bushes peepin' saw the apple they was eatin'
And I swear that I'm the one that ate the core

[Verse 4]
Now, I built the Garden of Eden, it was in the year oh two
Joined the apple-pickers union, and I always paid my due
I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the risin' sun
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

[Verse 5]
I taught Samson how to use his mighty hand
I showed Columbus to this happy land
And for Pharaoh's little kiddies I built all the pyramiddies
And to the Sahara carried all the sand

[Verse 6]
Now, I was straw boss on the pyramids and the Tower of Babel, too
I opened up the ocean, let the mighty children through
I fought a million battles, and I never lost a one
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

[Verse 7]
I taught Solomon his little ABC's
I'm the first one that ate Limburger cheese
And while floating down the bay with Methuseleh one day
I saw his whiskers floating in the breeze

[Verse 8]
Now, I fought the revolution that set this country free
It was me and a couple of Indians that dumped the Boston tea
I won the Battle of Valley Forge and the Battle of Bully Run
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

[Verse 9]
Now, Queen Elizabeth she fell in love with me
We were married in Milwaukee secretly
But I got tired and shook her and ran off with General Hooker
To go shootin' skeeters down in Tennessee

[Verse 10]
Now, I was born about ten thousand years ago
There is nuthin' in this world that I don't know
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses playin' ring-around-the-roses
And I'll whup the guy that says it isn't so

[Verse 11]
Well, I'm just a lonesome traveler, a great historical bum
Highly educated through history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages, it was in the year oh one
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

[Verse 12]
Well, I'm just a lonesome traveler, a great historical bum
Highly educated through history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages, it was in the year oh one
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done