The Global Warming Song

Now, here we have two real pioneers
Embarking upon a new career
Capitalizing on this "Global Warming" hype
Yeah, they're the one's who brought you the left-handed hammer
And tried to market a recycled pamper;
You could say the Gullible Brothers have always been the entrepreneurial type

But this next hare-brained Gullible venture
Could be earmarked as the major clincher
As to whether or not they'll be livin' it up in their retirement age

They put all they had into one bankroll
Bought a bunch of land down at the South Pole
Eagerly awaiting the impending doom of "Climate Change!"
Hee, hee! Thereby being in the catbird seat in the new Florida!

And I'm all for working hard
To keep this planet clean
But man-made Global Warming just don't make no sense to me
But if you insist on buying into this media false alarm
I know a couple of guys who wheel 'n' deal in frozen farms!
Hee, hee, hee!

"Next up on the Real Estate Show we have the Gullible Brothers
Live via satellite from the East Coast of Antarctica
Hello, boys, are you on the line?"

"Y-y-yeah, Hi, I'm B-Barry-v-very Gullible, and this is my y-younger brother J-J-Justis Gullible, thanks for having us on the s-sh-show."

"You bet. What actually do you have available in the way of land?"

"W-we-well, we got this beautiful-beautiful homesites available, ocean f-front once the i-i-ice m-melts a little bit, you should - brr-r-r-r, Gosh it's cold. And we got some b-be-beautiful f-farms more inland, soon's we lose about forty feet of this snow... huh, huh, Oh, Lord!"

And I'm all for working hard
To keep this planet clean
But man-made Global Warming just don't make no sense to me
But if you insist on buying into this media false alarm
I know a couple of guys who wheel 'n' deal in frozen farms!
Hee, hee, hee!

"Well, boys, what's the weather like down there? Sounds cold!"

"W-w-we-well, it's n-not too bad...
S-say, sixty two below at the m-mo-moment, wind chill's a h-hunderd below...
But spirits are hi-high, we been told it's definitely gonna rise in a few, few, little while... it's uh... Record s-seven feet of snow... B-but Al Gore said it's gonna be OK. Oh, Lord! Justis, run! H-he-here comes a P-po-polar Bear! Aggghhhhh!"

And I'm all for working hard
To keep this planet clean
But man-made Global Warming just don't make no sense to me
But if you insist on buying into this media false alarm
I know a couple of guys who wheel 'n' deal in frozen farms!
Hee, hee, hee!

"Well, we'd just to thank the Gullibles for joining us today. Barry Gullible, any last words for those who may be looking to relocate once the rest of the world floods?"

"A-a-ah, w-well, b-r-r-rrr! Ah-h-hh-hhhh, ch-h-h-h-hhhh b-r-r-rrrr!"

"Oh, my goodness! OK, Justis, how about you?"

"E-e-er-rrrr, b-rr-r-rr-rrrr, ch-h-hh-h-hhhh, I cain't feel my feet!"