The Glamorous Life

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Orchestra comes in, and Fredrika sings...

[FREDRIKA]
Ordinary mothers lead ordinary lives
Keep the house and sweep the parlor
Cook the meals and look exhausted
Ordinary mothers, like ordinary wives
Fry the eggs and dry the sheets and
Try to deal with facts
Mine acts

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Desiree comes on

[DESIREE]
Darling, you're looking divine
And, Mother is dying to chat
But, Mother is getting a plaque
From the Halsingborg Arts Council
Amateur Theatre Group

Darling, I'll drop you a line—wait
What do you think of the hat? No?
Darling, the minute I'm back
From the Halsingborg Arts Council
Etcetera
I'll write and I miss you

Unpack the luggagе, la la la
Pack up the luggage, la la la
Unpack the luggagе, la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

Ice in the basin, la la la
Cracks in the plaster, la la la

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
She even hits wrong notes and they work into the song

[DESIREE]
Mice in the hallway, la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

Run for the carriage, la la la
Gobble the sandwich, la la la

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Fredrika's joining her now

[DESIREE & FREDRIKA]
Which town is this one? la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous—oops!

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
And she goes off. And Fredrika, Fredrika goes back to her scales. I forgot to mention that Fredrika had once been on the road with her mother. And the old lady starts to sing.

[MADAME ARMFELDT]
Ordinary daughters ameliorate their lot
Use their charms and choose their futures
Breed their children, heed their mothers
Ordinary daughters, which mine I fear, is not
Tend each asset, spend it wisely
While it still endures
Mine tours

[DESIREE]
Mother, your timing is off
I'm feeling decidedly mild
No, Mother, I really must run
I'm performing in Rottvik
And don't ask where is it, please

Tell me though, how is your cough?
And are you corrupting the child?
Don't
Mother, the minute I'm done
With performing in Rottvik
I'll come for a visit
And argue

Unpack the luggage, la la la
Pack up the luggage, la la la
Unpack the luggage, la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
And Fredrika joins her and they take a couple of lines

[DESIREE & FREDRIKA]
Mayors with speeches, la la la
Children with posies, la la la

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
The old lady...

[MADAME ARMFELDT]
Half-empty houses, la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Fredrika...

[FREDRIKA]
Mother's romantic, la la la

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
The old lady...

[MADAME ARMFELDT]
Mother's misguided, la la la

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Desiree...

[DESIREE]
Mother's surviving, la la la
Leading the glamorous life

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Now at the word "life", the old lady sings:

[MADAME ARMFELDT]
Ordinary daughters learn even while they're tots
That if a woman takes care of herself
No one takes care of her

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
And when she says "her", Desiree says:

[DESIREE]
Ordinary mothers are really [?]

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
"Kept" says the old lady

[DESIREE]
And there's nothing as unfair
As a woman who once

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
The old lady says

[MADAME ARMFELDT]
As you were
(spoken)
Truce?
Truce

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
Fredrika says

[FREDRIKA, spoken]
Good

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
And then they all sing:

[DESIREE, FREDRIKA & MADAME ARMFELDT]
Cultural lunches, la la la
Dead floral tributes. la la la
Ancient admirers, la la la
Hi-ho, the glamorous life

Always the trouper, la la la
Home before Christmas, la la la
Darlings, I miss you, la la la
Hi-ho

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
And Liebeslieder people have joined in and they also take a chord

[QUINTET]
Hi-ho

[ALL]
For the glamorous life!