The Gift & The Curse

I got too much on my mind, i gotta let it out

I'm verbally rapping these words into to circles
And sacrifice everything, jumping the hurdles
A menace to most and a ghost to the rest but i
Slaughter the mic and i keep the core bleeding

I'm underground shaking the earth like a tremor
All of these words in my head i remember
They pour on the pages and pages and pictures
Of people i love and i hate and some bitches

Still i keep rapping and rhyming the words
And i'm thinking so much and it feels like a curse
Write another book then i feel a little better
Sitting by the fire with my dog like a storyteller

Writers block is more than development hell
Lost and mad til break the spell
So i can break the wall and flow the river
Play the song back and let it live forever

It's more than a like and a share when they listen
More than a mission, more like i'm fishing
More than some fiction where i can kill a victim
More than addiction, more than a vision

The worlds so fucked and I'm always deep thinking
Got another bottle than I just keep drinking
Upside down to the bottom of the world
I'm a tunnel runner you ain't gonna understand ahh!

The night gets so dark and so dull and i'm dead
But voices are talking so loud in my head
Spit out the blood on the beat in this verse
And the freedom you feel is so good but its worse

I keep on complaining like this is a burden
But when it is quiet i feel like i'm hurting
Born to entertain like a clown in the circus
I got my purpose don't feel so worthless!

I got too much on my mind, I gotta let it out

My head is a mess
Low on my breath
Anxiety grippin my chest, Sobriety
I'm part of society now
Still these hands keep pulling me down

Into the depths
Surrounded by flames
Stress as a best friend
No closer to sane
When does it end
Im grounded
Since i waa founded, 88
Never seeing no change

Yall think i can get up, Go pick the pen up
And I'll be fine, Its a set up
Got the grind, But these thoughts
In my mind, "Won't let up"
Show me a sign, "Im fed up"

Feel like i'm drowning heavy like mountains
Man its astounding i can just push through
Ain't quit Though Heres a quick show To prove
Im still the one In front of two

I'm more than twisted
Born as gifted, But the curse is worse
Make me mourn existence
Should be tour livin, with the lore im givin
But im stuck no luck with this poor admission

Got these fans livid, Dms fillin
"Trips you were born to kill it
Can we at least get a verse
A Song or a hello
Some words to show that you're not missin"

Well here it is, The virus shit
Supplied by nights of Indecisiveness
Its hard to get when your mind fights
And you don't know what enlightened is

Im still ill though
Iv strapped on a covid dose
Explode on a beat, like im owed the dough
You'll get over thrown
Its still r.i.p to my older foes, yeah