The Fullness of My Being

How many years have I spent aloom
Decades weaving, all my time consumed
My head swim with melodies, perfumes
Obsessing over what they'd etch on my tomb
The sleepless nights staring at the moon
Green smoke crawling out my mouth in plumes
Lead drop to the engines of my gloom
Dreaming states in the vanities of youth
I am the other, the lowest
Impostor syndrome, always forced to prove
I am a lover, a poet
Grander ego will give mе more to lose

I should have known
Aftеr all this time in grace
I was so close to serenity
And I should have felt
While struggling for peace
I was only ever fighting, torturing me

My own worst enemy
[?]
All the time spent scheming
I couldn't hear my soul scream
I made a fantasy, my own scheme
The only way to follow is blindly

My eyes are open
So much for loyalty
My eyes are open
I made a nightmare of my dream

I was so close to serenity
I was only ever fighting me

I should have known
After all this time in grace
I was so close to serenity
And I should have felt
While struggling for peace
I was only ever fighting, torturing me

Now that I've stopped to rest
I've gained clarity
My perception widening
All the frustrations that I felt
Clinging so tightly to identity
Was a dissonance of thought
A war between action and belief
A house can't serve two masters
For years I chose so carelessly
The work became an idol
I offered praise up tirelessly
Once I cast it from me
My suffering spirit found harmony
As I forsake my false sense of self
I embrace the fullness of my being
The fullness of my being
Fullness of my being
The fullness of my being

I should have known
After all this time in grace
I was so close to serenity
And I should have felt
While struggling for peace
I was only ever fighting, torturing me