The First God

The first god brought me to my knees
I lost sight—that’s why I’m where I am

I want death—that’s my intention here
‘Cause I’m not a hundred percent
-No one will miss me
Don’t even fake those tears

Take all of my courage and blessings
Don’t hate me
There’s no other way…

In time, the father figure falls apart
Watching’s the hardest thing, he knows…
The hollow, crude-stitched sweater of his heart unraveled
-Bridged what laid below him

Él no va a cruzarlo—ya no receptivo
Él es pesado, un mentiroso, él es dolor
Now he was ready to take that great journey!
But then his first god stepped into the ring…

My head was then filled with drumfire and thunder
All this for nothing!
I held strong and upright
But a bludgeon cracked me down!
No reasoning entered—unconscious
Curious, I heard roars of triumph
But who hears things when they’ve reached their end?

O’ no creature serves his maker…
And no maker dies by his creature’s hands!

With how many times the heavens denied
I’m wondering why I’m still alive
I should have died...
They can’t kill me!

And then a crescendo of the soul bloomed out
And who was I—ignorant, dastard, and vain
To receive such splendor at the height of being vanquished?
Could you believe that I was filled with malice?
Could you believe that I was filled with rage?
Because just when I thought it was over
Here comes valor
Running out of the desert
Like a slobbering dog with a bone
-Just as wild-eyed and crazed
As the mountain of a man that stood before me
A new height was reached that day!
And you best believe that I remembered
That a hero holds no judgement over his people
It’s either let go, or you’ll be let down
And I’ve always thought of myself more as a villain anyway…
‘Cause who else could make a god bow his filthy-fucking-head!?!

That of stone turned flesh
There was a mumble from a cold inside
An old, weathered body
-It rumbled and sprung to life
An unhindered soul with awareness of a covered face
He’d been forgotten by the nature of my disgrace
But he did what he could do to stay alive
What more could he want?
I felt a motion inside
Then up in the clouds is where he would fly
Because I conquered the mountain
Now I was the mountain!

Now, it was at this time that I wondered
If I was doing this for you or if for me
‘Cause I could not hide from the hands of
A blurry crowd blowing kisses at my feet
Though I tried to deny and tried not to receive
Ya’ll perched me even higher up
-So high, I couldn’t see
I wasn’t looking anyway—no
Who needs to see when you’re cycling on repeat?
Stuck in a loop—not a human, but machine
I had it memorized—disappear and vacate
I’d claw my way out before it devoured me
Now I’m starting a new age—subjectively insane
O’ god!
I watched my limits turn to dust before my feet!
So what’s the point of looking back?
Here’s to never looking back!
Bet I’m never looking back