The Fears of a Dilettante

Through the screen
Through the bar
Through the cement fence out back
I can see
Through your yard
And a few miles beyond that
Lego trees
Planted so closely
It doesn’t make much sense
Spacially, but i can see
They grow according to plan

All the doors
Screened and barred
For whatever happens next
And they painted them all
With a shade
That is one less
Than cheerful
Some muted pink
Or muted green
Too much cool grey
Here for me
Seeing what i wanna see

At times i only notice like
The death in things
The brown spots on bananas
And my fears are only
Ripening

Sometimes i don’t even notice
When its happening, happening
I’m afraid i’ll miss all these days again
I’m afraid i’ll never change
Who i am

Don’t be confused
You should take my thoughts
In spite of me
And my picture perfect qualities
I’m just a photogenic wannabe
(it’s true)
The gardener blows around the yard
Picking up the mess
Kicking up our dirt instead
Not rooted in the ground

I'm blowing away like
I’m blowing away like
I'm blowing up inside
Blowing today like
I’m blowing the good life
I'm blowing up inside
I'm blowing today like
I’m blowing the good life
I’m blowing the good life
I’m blowing the good life
I’m blowing the good life
I’m blowing the good life
(good life)

Good life
A good life here
A good life

I have a good life!
I have a good life!
I have a good life!
I have a good life!
I have a good life!
I have a good life!
Here

I think i’m
A little strange at times
I think i
Need to step away sometimes
I think i
Feel so misplaced at times
I think i need a little space
Sometimes

Well i don’t know
Don’t know
Don’t know
Where to go
That’s life
I suppose

I made friends with the bar man
He put me in a coffin
Coming here so often
Had a clue but i lost it