The Diary of Adam and Eve: It’s a Fish

[ADAM, spoken]
I just got back from a hunting trip up north and found that
Eve caught some new kind of animal.

(sung)
Now I could swear that it's a fish
Though it resembles us in every way but size
She gives it milk and every night
She picks it up and pats and pets it when it cries
I always knew she'd pitied fish
But it's ridiculous to make them household pets

She says it's not a fish
I say it is a fish
'Cause it surrounds itself with water
Almost every chance it gets

It's not a fish, fish never scream
And this one does, though on occasion it says goo
Its legs are long, its arms are short
So I suspect that it's a kind of kangaroo
And sincе it came I pity Eve
She's gottеn madder by the minute and it shows

Just now I said to her
That I would much prefer
To have it stuffed for my collection
And she punched me in the nose

It's growing teeth and it can bite
And I'm convinced that what we have here is a bear
I'm worried sick, but Eve is not
She burnt the muzzle I made for it to wear
I've searched the woods, I've baited traps
And yet I couldn't find its sister or its brother

And though I've hunted far and wide
While Eve has hardly stepped outside
I'll be damned if she didn't catch another