The Derby Ram

As I was going to Derby all on a market day
I met the biggest ram, my boys, that ever was fed on hay
And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie
And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I

The wool on this ram's belly, well, it grew into the ground
Cut off and sent to the Sydney sales it fetched a thousand pound
The wool on this ram's back, my boys, grew so very high
The eagles came and built their nests and I heard the young 'uns cry

The horns that grew on this ram's head, they reached up to the moon
A little boy went up in January and he didn't get back till June
And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie
And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I

The man that fed this ram, my boys, he fed him twice a day
And every time he opened his mouth, he swallowed a bale of lucerne hay
The man that watered this ram, my boys, watered him twice a day
And every time he opened his mouth, he drunk the river dry

Now this old ram, he had a tail that reached right down to hell
And every time he waggled it he rung the fireman's bell
And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads, I never was known to lie
And if you'd been in Derby, you'd seen him the same as I

Now the butcher that stuck this ram, my boys, was up to knees in blood
And the little boy who held the bowl was carried away by the flood
Took all the boys in Derby to roll away his bones
Took all the girls in Derby to roll away his stone the crows

Now the man that fattened this ram, my boys, he must have been very rich
And the man who sung this song must be a lying son of a … so he is
Well now my song is ended I've got no more to say
So give us another pint of beer and we'll all of us go away