The Day I Woke Up Drowning

Today I woke up drowning in a pool of my own blood
It seems like I'm going down
With the smile stripped from my teeth
Skin and bones fracturing
Mobility fading with atrophy
I'm not phased
But I'm still gasping
They know that it's my last days
But they're still laughing

On which day will the Wellerman come
To whale me cut me up and rip out my tongue
I feel the rumbling waves
As I'm sinking my battleships along with me

Curtains drawn
Pills bottles and blades lay
Spread across the marble floors
Money stacks up against the door
Soon to be viewed by those who see it drip with gore
I no longer detest the dysphoria in my head
I'm starving to death alone
It's clear i have no real friends
Numbing the stress of knowing i didn't do my best
And leaving nothing behind
Let my mind rest

On which day will the Wellerman come
To whale me cut me up and rip out my tongue
I know inside I'm still a child
With no answer to the questions
Thinking I knew it all
But I was in the wrong from the start

Drifting out to sea leaving my lifeboat
I think I've found peace
But I'm freezing in the cold
If I close my eyes
Will it all be erased
Or will I gain praise
For the man I became

I've chipped all my teeth
And it sells at high bids for every piece
Am I apart of your history
Yes I see it's too late for me
The lighthouse flashes my pupils
Blinding all of what I know as futile
And that I never stopped to realised
That it all could've been better with time

Oh I see the Wellerman come
Licking my lips with the tip of its tongue
Swallow me whole
Disintegrate me
Better off dead than living on my knees

Today i woke up drowning in a pool of my own blood