The Date

Hear ye! Hear ye!
C'mon all you hungry ones

This is a story 'bout the bitches with the business cards
And about the squeezers when they think that they're the only ones
She shot him in the parking lot because he made her stockings run
Defense got messy coz he covered her with cookie crumbs
Her feet felt sticky cos beer hit her in her pumps
Then he broke her bed coz he weighed about a thousand pounds
I always had to watch where he parked his heavy guns
And he got my hair in his hubba double bubble gum
Why did he have to beat him when it could've been just anyone?
Later in the afternoon I had a mighty hunch
That I looked and felt like a piece of his old lunch
A sleaze boy in a roll-up cos' my custard got all greasy
And my face turned green but by then I felt real queazy
I couldn't go back home I was lookin' too sleazy
I should've shot him then you know it would've been real easy

Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice when he said "Yo Miss"
Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice said he couldn't resist
Said fish, fish jump in in my dish

About when I met you and you said I was the very best I should've known that's what you say to all the rest
I told you then that your images were hollow and you're not the type of cat that I would choose to follow
Maybe you're perplex that your venture isn't working
I guess you think my chain only needs a little jerking
So why'd you look surprised
Just because I blew your brains out
Love gets messy and that's what it's all about
Pullin' up to my house in his Porsche with a telephone
Droolin' in the driveway he bit the dog and took his bone
Drivin' to the movies at ninety miles an hour
"I was in a hurry so I didn't take a shower. Now I got a picture that I know you'd die to see it's 'Rambo meets Godzilla' number seventy-three"
During the excitement while I paused to take a nap
I walk up as he tried to put his head into my lap

Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice when he said "yo Miss"
Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice said he couldn't resist
I said fish, fish jump in in my dish

And Rambo beat Godzilla for the seventy-third time
I thought I'd made my final move and get out with my mind
I think I got a headache quite crude is how I feel
? diversion down at Wang's house of ?

Oh god

Okay

I should've been suspicious when his fingers hit the dishes when he ate the fortune cookies he even ate the wishes
No matter where he was always on the prowl
If he didn't find a bite to eat he opened up his mouth to howl
He had such an appetite he must've been an alien
When I saw the chicken bones it was easy trailing him
When he asked for water while the waiter put the bucket in
Naturally it crossed my mind how did I get stuck with him
Said you better take me home coz now it's gettin' late
I wasn't too surprised at how easy he could mutate
Just like in the movie his head began to rotate suddenly I saw Cecilia with her eyeballs on a plate
I knew I had to shoot him
I couldn't stand a second date
His lips are coming at me I said "better dead then and fed"
That's when I pulled my 45 and shot him in the head

Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice when he said "Yo Miss"
Fish, fish jump in in my dish
Something in his voice said he couldn't resist
I said fish, fish jump in in my dish

Next time you're out hunting be sure to stand guard 'cos no-one's in a hurry for the ultimate reward
The moral of the story's one that shouldn't be ignored hell hath no fury like a woman who's bored