The Culchie Song

Right, here goes. This is a song... that i wrote meself, it's called the culchie song. It's all about culchies. Right

How ye getting on John? Is your wife in the kitchen making scones? I love some with some jam, and a big aul lump of ham. Tell her i'll have buttered rich teas, not no fucking jaffa cakes, no jammie dodgers or custard creams, but maybe some buttered bread? Aye! for goodness sake!

I'm not a farmer but I think i am, i have the smell, the sandboots and the fucked up hands. I say i got in an accident, but i'm fucking lying's what i really meant. I support Sinn Fein and watch RTE, up the ra, fuck the DUP NRUC!

I'm the greatest catholic alive! I don't go to mass but i drink tonic wine. I hit my wife everyday, thats what she gets for calling me gay! we have sex most every night, I say shes good but shes really shite! I found a sheep thats much greater, she has a big muff so i'll get the shaver. I'll go down to the pub and tell all the boys that i got a nice wooly sex toy

I'm not a farmer i'm a culchie! Call me a townie and i'll fucking ... knife ye! I eat beans right out of the can, i'm more disgusting than the Taliban. I have a cousin her name is Janet her arse is right out of this planet! Aye she usually wears stung spitters. I gave her a wedgie right up the shitter

Chorus, yeooo

I'm a culchie, i drive my finger up me hole. I'm a culchie, scum of the earth and collecting the dole. Oh i'm a culchie, I'm only sick when i've got the cold. Oh I'm a culchie, hanging around my neck there's a chain, made of gold, because I'm a culchie, i'm a culchie, i'm a culchie oh i'm a culchie

YEOOOOOOOOOOOOO