The Creation

[Verse 1]
On the first day the devil made decaf coffee
On the second he made alcohol-free beer
On the third day the devil made Switzerland
Where Freud could practice for years
On the fourth day he needed a rest
But his idle hands dreamed up money
The root of all evil
Your get out of jail
The check's in your mouth
And you know what's comin' in the mail

[Verse 2]
On the fifth day the devil made landlords
Just when you thought that it couldn't get worse
On the sixth day the devil made lawyers
Though anyone could finish this verse
On the seventh day he thought real slow
For a pièce de resistance, a crowning blow
Something more slippery than money
More slimy than landlords
More lowdown than lawyers
More fun that Switzerland

[Verse 3]
Something to put us in the money
Something to put us in the pink
Something to slink with, trust me
Something sinful, original, the missing link
'Tween playing doctor and women's liberation
Between Lemon Pledge and the inauguration
In the palm of his hand
The whole world on the take
On day severn he created... you guessed it
The snake

[Verse 4]
Now the snake took the rap for us all
From the Garden of Eden to the Berlin Wall
He gave St. Patrick something to do
And all those little Paddies a penance or two
In Germany they call it a schlong
Though I couldn't top that with a ten-foot pole
Fifty thousand fascists can't be wrong
With their snakeskin boots and their rock and roll

[Verse 5]
Now we speak in forked tongues and we roll those dice
We tell all our therapists who's naughty or nice
We watch Monty Python and fly on Aer Lingus
We vote for Clinton and think up dirty rhymes
The snake, the snake, the devil made the snake
The cobra, the viper, and the hippy hippy shake
The devil made me do it
We're at his beck and call
Pass the buck, pass the chocolates
It's someone else's fault